


I Think This Time I'm Dying

by wilbursootsglasses



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anorexia, Gen, Insomnia, Panic Attacks, Protective Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Running Away, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit and Tubbo are Best Friends, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, this hurt to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:47:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29390058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilbursootsglasses/pseuds/wilbursootsglasses
Summary: Tommyinnit is struggling.He tried his best to hide it, and he was doing well.But then he went to Brighton to meet Tubbo, Wilbur, Phil and Techno, and hiding it was never going to be a successful option.Sometimes all you need is a hug.(title from Wilbur Soot's 'Saline Solution')
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 23
Kudos: 722





	I Think This Time I'm Dying

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Please make sure to read the tags, the trigger warnings are in there!  
> I really hope you enjoy this fic, some of it may be projection but I really enjoyed writing it!  
> Make sure to drink some water and get some rest!
> 
> If you have any ideas for any future fics (doesn't have to be in relation to this one) comment them and I'll try and write some.
> 
> Enjoy :)

They'd already sat and talked to Tubbo about his sleep schedule, they were worried, and rightfully so. The boy was missing college, waking up at 6pm, having his evening meal then streaming until the early am. Tommy had been in the call when Wilbur, Phil and Techno planned what they were going to say, but Tommy opted out of being part of that conversation.

The guilt and hypocrisy would make his hands ache.

He remembered Tubbo messaging him during the conversation, asking him to join and back him up, defend him; he just pretended his phone had died.

He wanted to help his friend, his best friend, of course he did. And he knew that what Phil, Techno and Wilbur were doing was right, but if he was in Tubbo’s position, he’d message him and he’d expect the help too. But this was going to help him, right?

In reality, Tommy's schedule was non-existent. He wouldn't sleep, eat; he went to college (more realistically attended them online, but none of the information went in), then he would edit his videos for his three youtube channels, eat about a quarter of his meal before streaming. He'd come off stream, do his homework, continue to edit. And before he knew it, he wasn't sleeping until he passed out for a maximum of 2 hours every 4 or 5 days.

Eventually his body got used to not sleeping, he didn't have to keep busy, he just couldn't sleep, and he didn't eat because he lost his appetite rather than because he didn't have the time. 

Nobody seemed to notice, or at least they didn't care enough to ask him about it. His jokes were all the same, his laughs the same. He wasn't any different, or so he thought. He was good at hiding it, knowing to turn his discord off after 12am so people thought he was asleep, turning his phone off too so he wouldn't accidentally like something on twitter at 4am, or if Wilbur sent him something in the early hours he wouldn't accidentally click on it and alert Will that he was awake at an ungodly hour.

He'd wear hoodies more often on stream and whenever he had his facecam on when he called the 'sleepy bois + tubbo + quackity' group chat. He was constantly cold, and he didn't want them to notice he'd gotten significantly skinnier. It wasn’t intentional, of course it wasn’t, it just happened. 

Tommy had managed to keep it secret, despite his stomach pains during streams and his yawns on call to Will. The weekends were fine of course, he was 16! A teenager! It's normal for him to stay up later on the weekend, even if he was just sat on call to Tubbo or the rest of the group whilst he edited.

It was quite frequent they’d do this, just enjoying the silent comfort of knowing that they were all there; Tommy would need more than another set of hands to count the amount of times Tubbo or the others had fallen asleep whilst they were on call at the weekend, he tended to leave or turn his mic off at about 2am whenever that happened, just so they thought he was asleep.

He would've managed to keep it secret until this phase passed too, if he didn't decide to go and see Phil, Tubbo and Wilbur again. Techno was flying out to visit for the first time, and despite the banter between Tommy and his makeshift elder brother, Techno would be gutted if he flew all this way and didn't get to see the 16 year old whom he secretly called his little brother.

Tommy just couldn't pass on the opportunity, it was during his college holidays, and it was for a week. A whole week with his online family. He was able to get a train too, so it was no issue with his parents, but he just wished he'd thought about the eating and the sleeping before he so hastily agreed to going.

He knew it would raise suspicion if he said no, but nonetheless he prayed he'd thought about it beforehand.

Because the thing is, when you’re surrounded by people 24 hours a day for a week straight, hiding an eating disorder and insomnia was much harder than Tommy thought.

The first day wasn’t too bad, whilst he was on the train he listened to music to distract himself, he’d arrived in Brighton around 2pm and told Wilbur, Phil and Tubbo that he’d eaten on the train. He sipped on some water throughout the day (they didn’t do much, but they had plans to pick up Techno early in the morning so it wasn’t a busy day). Once they got to Wilbur’s place, they put some pizzas in the oven, to which Tommy passed on, saying he wasn’t feeling too good and he was just tired from the train journey.

They passed it off as just travel tiredness- Tommy wasn’t going to sleep though. They let him go to his room, and that was that for the night. Tommy didn’t eat, and he certainly didn’t sleep, his music quietly played through his headphones all night.

The main issue was when the rest of the house woke up. He knew that they were going to offer him breakfast, and if he refused they’d have questions- but then he remembered that it was 4am, everyone would be exhausted and sleep on the journey anyway.

He was worrying for nothing. 

He sighed in relief, swinging his legs out of bed and rubbing his eyes. He was tired, god he was tired. He hadn’t slept for 3 days, and he’d barely eaten. But this was going to be a good week, because he was with his family.

“We were letting you sleep as much as you can.” Tommy startled at the voice, seeing Wilbur and Phil drinking coffee in the kitchen. He knew they’d be awake, but he didn’t assume they’d be in any mood to talk. “You feeling any better, kid?”

Confusion hit him first, he had been feeling physically fine this entire trip (like he'd been there long) other than the sharp pains in his stomach due to his lack of food; but then last night clicked, and he nodded, not wanting to raise concern. 

"Good! We're gonna go get Tubbo up and set off, probably go to the McDonald's drive thru on the way, what do you want?" Phil says, and the boy hesitates. 

He wasn't hungry, he was tired for sure, but he couldn't go to sleep. 

"I uhm, I'm not that hungry actually. I'm just sleepy, hardly slept last night." Tommy froze, realising what he said. "Cause I'm excited to see Techno! It was excitement, that's all." he quickly covered, earning an eyebrow raise from Phil, and a smirk from Wilbur. 

He'd managed to cover it. 

Tubbo wasn't for getting up, bringing his duvet and pillow with him. Tommy chuckled at this, his 6'3 frame towering way over the elder teen, but happy that Tubbo wanted to sleep more. 

He was glad Tubbo was okay. 

They got to the car quickly, Phil making sure there were enough water bottles for everyone. Tubbo fell asleep instantaneously, and he'd probably sleep for the majority of the trip. Wilbur was behind the wheel on the way there, having agreed Phil would drive the way back. 

Tommy tried to sleep, bless his soul he tried. But he couldn't, the thoughts getting louder by the second, the pain in his stomach getting worse as though it was eating his insides. 

Phil bought breakfast for Wilbur and himself, asking Tommy again if he wanted anything. Tommy chose to ignore the looks they both gave each other, he didn't want to think they were catching on. 

'Just 5 minutes. 5 minutes of sleep, please. Please. Just 5 fucking minutes.' Tommy pleaded inside his head, shutting his eyes and squeezing, praying, for just a chance at some rest. But of course, his head was running at 100mph, before he knew it they had reached the airport and it was time to meet Techno. 

Wilbur and Phil went to the terminal, leaving Tommy in the car to keep an eye on Tubbo. He assumed Tubs was asleep, before groaning and throwing his head back against the headrest. 

His arms wrapped around his stomach, the pain started to get worse and he started to feel as though he was suffocating, the car was closing in on him. He couldn't breathe, his chest getting tight. 

"Come on, just deep breathes. In and out. Come on. Don't have a panic attack. Not now not here." he muttered to himself, forcing himself to not cry. 

It felt like forever before he started to calm down, the pain becoming bearable, his breathing laboured, and his face flushed. Tubbo woke up, dazed and still very tired. 

"Morning, Big man." Tommy said, clearing his voice and controlling his breathing. 

"Where are we, Toms?" he whispered, stretching to the best of his abilities being sat in the car, and yawning.

“Airport, Phil and Wilbur went to get Techno from the terminal but we didn’t want to wake you up. They’ll be back soon.”

The smaller boy nodded, grabbing his phone and jumping to Twitter. It was an addiction to Tubbo, his favourite social media despite its toxicity. Everyone told him that he shouldn’t spend as much time on it but he was a teenager, and he definitely never listened.

It wasn’t long until everyone arrived, and Tommy felt his heart grow at the third unfamiliar person. There was comfort radiating from him, and both the teens felt themselves unconsciously smile. They lept out the car, running to him and giving him a group hug. Techno at first seemed uncomfortable, but soon warmed to the boys and hugged them back. 

Techno was seeing his family, his true family, in person for the first time. He was never gonna tell the internet that when he saw Phil and Wilbur he cried, or why they took longer because they just stood and hugged in the airport, that was for them and them only. 

Eventually Wilbur pried Tommy and Tubbo away from Techno, saying that they needed to get back on the road. Phil was behind the wheel, Techno taking the passenger seat and Wilbur putting himself into the middle of the teens in the back.

Tubbo went to sleep rather quickly, Phil smiling lightly at it, remembering the conversation they had a few months ago. 

“Why don’t you get a couple hours, Toms? We’ll be on the road for a while.” Wilbur whispered to him, and Tommy froze a little, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Techno in the mirror. 

“I- uh, I’m not that sleepy Will.” the boy whispered, and Will nodded, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. Tommy didn’t catch on to Techno pulling his phone out and typing, putting it down, only for Wilbur to pick his up having received a message.

Tubbo woke up about half an hour before they arrived back at Wil’s, Phil asking if people wanted to grab something for dinner. Tommy knew that he had to eat something to avoid suspicion, so nodded alongside the others. They decided on fish & chips; Wil’s favourite food, and he so desperately wanted to be there when Techno had his first “proper” fish and chips.

They went in, sitting at a table whilst Phil went and ordered. Tommy chose a small portion of chips, Will asking if he wanted anything else, but he shook his head. They sat and chatted, caught up with each other as though they all hadn’t spoken in days. Tommy kept quiet, nibbling on a few chips here and there but not being hungry. 

Tubbo sent him a glance every now and then and tried to involve him in the conversation, Tommy played his quietness off as just being tired. Tommy thought they all believed him, but they were all concerned that he wasn’t eating.

He felt himself getting caught up in lies and it started to suffocate him; he felt his chest starting to tighten, his throat closing up.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” Tommy announced, standing up and walking away, quickly locking himself in a bathroom stall and trying his best to calm down. He’s had panic attacks before, whenever he felt as though someone was going to find out, he felt the exact same way. 

He had to calm down. He had to breathe. He couldn’t let them find out. 

And then he felt incredibly sick. The little he had eaten made him feel disgusting, ill, gross. 

And so, Tommy, this sixteen year old broken boy, whilst his family sat around a table laughing and having fun without him, made himself throw up for the first time.

He’d heard about it before, purging. It wasn’t something he wanted to get into the habit of, so he never did it. He regretted doing it immediately, in case somebody walked in- why would they care?

Tommy felt his eyes well, and he tried his hardest to hold them in. He couldn’t stay in the bathroom any longer, he didn’t want to raise concern. 

He held his tears, wiped his mouth and walked out of the stall, splashing his face with some water after washing his hands.

“Things are going to be okay.” He whispered to himself in the mirror, before walking out of the bathroom. The rest of the guys had finished eating, and were now just sat chilling, waiting for Tommy as they finished their drinks.

“We were about to come find you, kid.” Phil says, and Tommy smiled, muttering an apology.

“You feeling okay?” Techno asks, and Tommy nods, not making eye contact. He hated it, feeling as though everyone was silently judging him, not even being able to bring himself to look at his brothers.

“We should think about heading back, we can order takeaway for tea tonight or I can make something, I’m thinking we movie night it cause Techno’s probably exhausted.” Will says, breaking the slightly (extremely) awkward silence. A chorus of “yes”s and nods of agreement broke out, and Tommy thanked Wil subconsciously for letting them get the hell out of this shop. 

Tommy felt exhausted; everyone could tell the boy was tired due to his lack of effort to join in on jokes and such, they told him countless times to go have a nap considering they were up at 4am, but he refused, saying he wasn’t tired, he just wasn’t feeling too good.

Today marked the fourth day of no sleep, a record he hadn’t been able to beat, and he slowly felt himself start to drift off. He panicked, not wanting to fall asleep in front of them all, so he jumped up, the rest watching as he stood up and walked to the kitchen, making himself a black coffee.

To put it lightly, Tommy hated coffee, but he learnt to get through the bitter taste on nights when he’d have to stay up editing, and now the days when he, well, when he didn’t want to sleep, he would down a cup or two of the stuff and be on his way. And it’s not like he necessarily wanted to stay awake, he just didn’t want to be asleep.

“Why the fuck are you drinking black coffee? You’re a child.” the voice startled Tommy, almost making him spill it over his hoodie. The voice belonged to Wil, and his words certainly perked the interest of Phil.

“I started drinking the stuff like 4 months ago when I had to pull all nighters to edit, been hooked ever since.” He joked, or more realistically ‘joked’, thinking that if he slipped a bit of the truth in there, he wouldn’t get caught in a lie.  
“It’s a bad habit, Toms. You don’t want a caffeine addiction.” Phil says, concerned.

“I’m not addicted, don’t worry. It’s just something for when I wanna stay awake. Like now, I suppose, I wanna stay awake because Techno’s here.” Now that was a blatant lie, and Tommy feared that they would see right through it, but if they did, they kept quiet, smiling at the kid.

“Well Techno is on the verge of falling asleep, so maybe try and get some rest. And no more black coffee on my watch, alright?” Phil said, sternly. Tommy froze, but nodded, proceeding to walk back into the living room with Will’s hand on his shoulder. When they entered the room Techno had fallen asleep, Tubbo had been sat on the floor with his head rested against the couch, and was now also in his own dreamland, Techno’s arm rested lightly on his shoulder, a sign of care and protection.

“Tubbo sleeps too much.” Tommy whispers, and Wilbur chuckles.

“Are you jealous, Tommy?” Wilbur laughs, but Tommy freezes and goes into panic mode. Why would he be jealous that Tubbo sleeps other than the fact that he doesn’t? Does Wilbur know? Did they find out already? It’s been a day. God he really was useless. It was a simple secret and he couldn’t even keep it quiet for 48 fucking hours. 

Phil glanced at Wil after not receiving a reaction from Tommy, a look in his eyes Tommy couldn’t register.

“Toms?”

“Hm?” Tommy came out of his trance, looking up at Wilbur, and flicking between him and Phil, “oh, sorry, I spaced out. Tired, innit.”

Wilbur chuckled a little, shooting another look at Phil. “Why don’t you go to bed? We can tidy this up, don’t worry.”

“I uh-”

“Don’t say you’re not tired Toms. Come on, go to bed.” Phil interrupted, and Tommy looked at him, before yawning and nodding. He chose to ignore the whispers between the two remaining awake as he took himself to his room. 

When he got to his room, it was as though all the tiredness drained from his body, his brain going into overdrive as he sat and thought about what the fuck happened today. He sat and thought about how much they had caught on, how much he had eaten, the fact that he made himself throw up, how god damn tired he was. And the more and more he thought about this, the more he felt his chest ache and tighten, the more he felt tears fall down his cheek. Before the boy knew it, he was a crying mess until 5am, before he eventually passed out for an hour. 

For Tommy, 6am was an acceptable time for him to get up, it was strange for him not to stream or have to edit; they'd all told their fans that they were taking a break this week, but Tommy's hands itched for something to do. 

So, in the early hours of the morning, he went for a walk. 

Now, this wouldn't have been an issue if he was back home; he knew his surroundings, his way back to his house, his parents were familiar with him doing as such. But Tommy didn't leave a note, he didn't know where he was and he certainly didn't know his way back. 

He obviously brought his phone with him, but he hadn't charged it last night and so the battery was virtually gone, so when Wilbur, Phil Techno and Tubbo were all calling him, Tommy didn't get a single call through. 

It's not like he went too far, he'd gone to the beach, about half an hour from home. He enjoyed being able to breathe without feeling as though he was going to be caught in anything. He enjoyed the peaceful breeze of the early morning. He was content just having some alone time. 

And things were fine, until he couldn't remember the way back home, and so he was just aimlessly wandering around the streets of Brighton. Granted, he probably should've stayed at the beach, he would've been easier to find, but he was starting to feel sick and just wanted to go home. 

Tommy didn't know that everyone was looking for him, or that he had managed to stumble about half of the way there before getting incredibly tired, weak- his vision blacking out. 

So, as everyone frantically looked for the broken teen, Tommy got the best rest he'd had in a very long time. 

\------

It was Techno who found the boy, down an alley, flat out against the pavement. He immediately called Phil, telling him of his location and getting Wilbur to bring the car, scooping Tommy up into his arms. 

"God what were you thinking Tommy? You're such an idiot- we're gonna have to have such a long chat. But for now just, just get some rest."Techno whispered, carrying him to the car and resting Tommy's head on his lap as they quickly drove back to the house. 

"What the fuck was he thinking?" 

"Will, calm down. You're gonna wake him up."

"Do you think I give a shit right now? He is my responsibility whilst he's down here and he not only snuck out of the house, he fucking passed out down a back alley!" 

"Wilbur."

"Don't 'Wilbur' me Techno. You have no place."

"Enough you two. This isn't about either of you. We already know something is going on with him since he got here, he hasn't eaten and he’s hardly slept. Now Tubbo is sitting in the other room next to Tommy whilst he's asleep and the last thing he needs to be hearing is you two arguing so get a goddamn grip on your emotions until we know Tommy is okay or I swear to god I will kick you out.”

It was Phil that had fully woken Tommy up; the man was scary when he was angry. Tubbo immediately shouted for them as he started to open his eyes and realise where he was. 

He remembers what happened, and he knows he's in shit for it. 

"Tommy! Dear God, are you alright?" the eldest teen asked, and Tommy nodded, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the current situation. 

He was in his bed, and Techno, Phil and Wilbur stood menacingly around it, Tubbo being the only one with a smile.

"What the fuck were you thinking Tommy?" 

Wilbur earned a slap around the head from Phil because of that, something that made Tommy chuckle, and therefore causing Phil and Techno to smile. 

"What happened, Toms?" Phil asked, perching at the end of his bed. Tommy scutted up, crossing his legs and allowing for Wilbur and Techno to take a seat too. 

He could still lie through this. 

"I woke up early and I was bored, took a walk. I thought I knew my way back but didn't. My uh, my blood pressure dropped and then the next thing I know I'm waking up to Wilbur shouting in the other room." 

"Bullshit."

Everyone turned to look at the voice, or rather Techno.

In reality, they knew it was bullshit, but they just didn’t want to believe it. They wanted to think they were overreacting, the secret messages back and forth between Techno and Wil, the glances between the three of them. They didn’t want it to be real. 

So they tried to believe him.

"You're telling me you guys believe that shit?" 

"He does have a history of low blood pressure-" 

"Tommy what was the last full meal you ate?" Techno ignored Phil’s comment, staring directly at the boy, who's eyes were wide in fear. 

No no no no no. Shut up Techno. Shut. Up. 

"Before I got on the train on the way here."

"So if I was to message your parents now and ask them, they'd agree?" 

Tommy froze. He wished Techno would shut up, he wished Phil would stop staring between the two. He wished Tubbo wouldn't look so confused. He wished Wilbur would stop looking guilty. 

"It's best if you be honest Tommy before I just rip the truth from you."

Techno’s words cut through him. He could still lie his way through this he could just-

"Tommy, please. We just care about you." this broke Tommy. Hearing Tubbos voice break a little out of concern for his friend just obliterated any further thought of lying. 

They won't judge him. They couldn't right? Of course they could. They could send him home, have nothing to do with him. I mean, why would they want anything to do with an anorexic depressed insomniac with no regard for his well being? 

"I ask again. Nicely this time. When was the last time you had a full meal?" 

Tommy looked between the four of them and took a deep breath, Phil resting a hand on his leg in comfort. 

"A little over 5 months." Tommy whispered, praying they didn't hear him. 

"What was that Toms? I couldn't hear you." Wilbur asked, his voice sweeter, calmer than it was before. 

"I said a little over 5 months." Tommy spoke up this time, his words clearer. It was evident that they heard him, the gasps, the anger, the concern that radiated off them during this huge pause in time. 

"A-and the last time you got a full night's sleep?" Phils voice wavered. Tommy, one of his sons, was struggling for months and he didn't see it. He didn't help him. 

"Technically just then." Tommy says with a slight grin and laugh. But nobody was laughing with him. "What do you count as full night's?" 

"8 hours."

Tommy scoffed at this, he was a teenager. No teen got 8 hours sleep, right? 

"The last time I got 8 hours of sleep was like 4 years ago," Tommy paused, looking between them to gauge their reactions,"but for like the past 7 months I can go like 4 days with no sleep, and then I pass out for an hour or so. That's when the coffee drinking started."

There was silence. Tommy hated it, sitting there whilst they collectively got their thoughts together. He was waiting for Wilbur to chuck him out, for Techno to say he hated him, for Phil to practically disown him. 

He was waiting for Tubbo, his best friend, the one who has been there for him through everything, to turn around and walk away for good.

“Yesterday when you were in the bathroom-” Wilbur whispered. Tommy hated this. He felt so weak, exposed. He felt like a burden and he just wanted to get out.

The duvet he was under started to suffocate him, he was cornered, surrounded by people who judged him to the world’s end. He had to get out.

He made a run for it, the guys weren’t expecting him to just leap out of bed and run, hell, Tommy wasn’t expecting it either. His vision went blurry having stood up so quickly but he kept going, using the walls as a guide. When his vision came back he was at the door, reaching to open it.

It was locked.

Tommy felt himself starting to cry as he continued to pull at the handle, before being pulled away into someone’s chest, engulfed in a hug. He recognised it to be Wilbur as they sank to the floor and hugged, cried.

Phil, Techno and Tubbo wanted to help, they really did, but Phil took the two out the back to go for a walk, knowing not to crowd the others. He knew Tommy had a bond with Wilbur that was different from the rest, and that for now, he’d want to just sit with his brother for a while.

“It’s okay Toms, I’ve got you. It’s okay. Things are gonna be okay.” Wilbur whispered into his younger brother's head. Tommy begged him to let him go, let him run, let him leave, Wilbur just held him tighter. Wilbur didn’t want to lose him, he wouldn’t know who he’d be without Tommy. The kid was his world, making him laugh when he was sad, and just being so genuine with him. 

He hated that he didn’t realise how much Tommy had been struggling, how he couldn’t be there for him, how he couldn’t help him. 

“Please just let me go.” He sounded so broken, so weak, so done. 

“I can’t Toms, I can’t.” Wilbur whispered, continuing to hug the boy.

They sat for a while, Tommy continuing to make little pleads, both of them crying, and eventually when Wilbur felt Tommy go limp, having passed out from exhaustion he moved to the couch, cuddling with him, and messaging Phil to let him know they could come back as Tommy had fallen asleep, before quickly passing out himself, head cradled into the younger’s shoulder, cheeks stained with tears.

Wilbur didn’t know what happened whilst they were out. He didn’t know that Techno had punched the wall and broken down in anger and despair, he didn’t know that Tubbo was the one to help Techno calm down, or that Phil hugged the two tightly, begging them to talk to him if they ever needed anything. He told them that they were never alone, and that even if it felt like they had nobody in this world, that they were always there for each other. 

When they got home, they’d brought ice cream, pizza’s and some chips (for Tommy when he woke up), and went to the living room, to see Wilbur and Tommy curled up on the couch, passed out, and clear evidence that they had been crying for a while. 

Techno and Phil didn’t have the mentally capacity to wake them up, but Tubbo immediately ran over and pried Tommy out of Wil’s arms to hug him, startling them both, and Tommy’s immediate reaction was to pull away. But upon noticing it was Tubbo, leaned back into the hug, and held him close.

Tubbo was his best friend, no amount of time could change that, nobody could get in between them. And Tommy hated the fact that he had made him worry, so for the rest of the night he didn’t leave his side other than to hug the others.

“Hey Tommy, Will, we brought food. Toms we got you some chips, you don’t have to eat them all but some would be good.” Phil said, passing around then food, before going and putting the ice cream in Wilbur’s freezer.

“Tommy, come here.” Techno said, sounding rather threatening, but that was just who Techno was. Tommy walked over, only to be dragged into a bone-crushing hug. Techno had started to tear up. He hated it, but he hated the fact that Tommy was struggling more, and so he let himself cry. “Please, Tommy, just talk to us. Talk to me, in fact, it doesn’t have to be any of us but please. Please just talk to someone. We love you and we care about you and I am so sorry that we haven’t been there for you. But we are here now, and we know now, and I will do everything in my power to make sure you are okay and safe but please, please, just promise me you’re gonna start talking to someone.” Techno had run out of breath, squeezing Tommy tighter, as the two cried and hugged. 

“I promise, Tech, I promise.” The boy whispered, and the older pulled away, ruffling the younger's hair and walking to the kitchen to see where Phil was.

Tommy went back to sitting with Tubbo, they didn’t speak but Tubbo had his hand on Tommy’s arm, and Tommy had a hand on Tubbo’s leg, just a small gesture to let the other know that they were there, and that even if they weren’t okay, they had each other.

Wilbur didn’t like the fact that Tommy wasn’t right next to him, he wanted to be sat with him and make sure he was okay- he never wanted to leave his side again. But he knew Tommy and Tubbo needed to be there for each other.

“Come here, kid.” Phil said, walking back into the living room, Techno didn’t follow, and Tommy knew that it was directed at him.

“We’re gonna speak to your parents, not gonna say any of the details, just gonna let them know that you need to speak to a professional cause you’re struggling a bit.” Tommy’s throat hitched, but nodded, “And we’re also gonna be calling everyday no matter what, all of us. And we’re gonna make sure that everyone’s okay, and if you’re not, we’re gonna try and help, even if that means distracting you or helping you, we’re just gonna try and be there more for each other.” everyone in the room nodded, Wilbur assuming Phil had decided this with Techno in the kitchen. 

“We love you kiddo, please don’t ever think we don’t.” 

Phil, Tommy and Tubbo sat in the living room, Tubbo and Phil eating some pizza and Tommy having some chips. Wilbur said he’d eat in a second or so, he just needed to go find Techno. 

He walked towards the kitchen, Techno stood there, coffee in hand. He looked exhausted, drained, sad. 

“Hey.” Wilbur whispered, and Techno nodded, acknowledging his existence. “You okay?”

“Do you remember when we had that talk with Tubbo?” He asked, and Wilbur nodded.

“I knew Tommy wasn’t okay that night. Obviously I didn’t know it was this bad but, I knew the kid wasn’t alright. He would never pass on an opportunity of all five of us being in a call, it rarely happened,” Wilbur nodded, “and I remember Tubbo saying he was going to get Tommy on to vouch for him, which Tommy would 100% do, cus they always back each other up. And obviously they knew when to and when not to, but Tommy would definitely have joined.”

“Go on.”

“And well, I called Tommy the next day, to let him know how it went, and he answered and kind of brushed me off, and ended the call really quickly. Which Tommy never does, because as you know I can get quite distant from you all, so Tommy appreciates all the time he can get with me.”

“Okay..”

“And well, I knew something wasn’t right, but he stopped putting his camera on when we were having our family calls. And I noticed he’d started wearing hoodies more, and he always looked really tired on streams. And all the signs were there, but I didn’t really put two and two together.”

“That’s not your fault though Techno.”

“But everything got confirmed the first day I was here. It took me having to see him in person for about half an hour, before I fucking put it together. You know that, I messaged you, he’s not okay, is he? Has he even eaten since he got here? Has he slept?, I knew. And I was the one to find him in that alleyway. And I knew that he wasn’t okay for months, but I never said anything. And this is my fault for not getting him help sooner.”

“This is not your fault.”

“But it is, Wilbur. It is. I could’ve helped him.” 

“Do you remember when you and Phil called me back in July?” 

“What’s that got to do with this?”

“Do you remember?” 

“Of course I do.”

“Okay well, I had been getting quite distant myself, struggling and such, similar to Tommy now. Do you blame yourself for that?”

“No but-”

“Listen. He’s like a younger brother, he’s my best friend. And We have every right to be upset, and worried and confused, and scared, you’re allowed to be scared. But we cannot start blaming ourselves for this.” Wilbur said, before pulling Techno into a hug. “We can be upset, but we gotta stay strong, for Tommy. But if you ever need to rant, or if you ever need to cry, you can call me.”

“I- I need to tell you something, Wil.”

“Anything.” He replied, pulling away.

“I’m not flying back home.” Wilbur blinked once. Then twice.

“What do you mean you’re not flying back home? You can’t just run away.”

“I’m not running away. I already talked to Phil. I- um. I’m moving here. I decided I was gonna move over here after that call with Tubbo. Wanted to be closer to family.”

He got pulled into another hug, this time smiling, content that Will was happy.

“You can stay with me. I have spare rooms, you can stay here. Holy shit, this- this is amazing.”

“Woah woah, I was gonna start looking for houses tomorrow-”

“Don’t be ridiculous, why spend money on a house when you can literally live here. Wait what about all your stuff?”

“Gonna get it shipped over, are you sure you don’t mind me staying?”

“Of course not, you’re family. God, Tommy and Tubbo are gonna be so happy.”

They stood in silence for a while, just enjoying each other's company.

“He’s gonna be okay. We all are.” Wilbur reassured, and Techno nodded, “Come on, lets go get some food.”

They walked back in to see the other three laughing, happy. Tommy may not have been okay, but being surrounded by his internet family just made things slightly easier.

“Techno has news for you two.” 

“Really, Will? Was gonna get something to eat first.”

“Tough shit.” “I’m gonna kill you.” “Try it, big man.”

“Enough you two, come on Tech, just tell them, get it over with.”

Wilbur smiled triumphantly, knowing he won, earning another slap around the head from Phil. To a stranger’s eye, you’d think they all were actually a family; broken, sure, but definitely a family.

“I’m not going back home at the end of this week.” 

“Oh, where are you going?” Tubbo asked, and Wilbur and Phil chuckled.

“Wait are you-”

“Huh? What? I’m so lost.” Tubbo asked, causing the three eldest to laugh some more.

“I’m staying here, with Wilbur. Decided I wanted to be closer to family.”

“Are you being serious right now?” Tommy asked, shocked. Techno nodded. “No fucking way.”

“Wait, you’re staying here?”

“Yeah, after that call with you Tubbo like 4 months ago, I decided I wanted to be closer to you guys, that way if you ever needed to talk or anything it was a couple hour car journey or train journey rather than me getting a 9 hour flight.” 

“You’re- oh my god.”

They both jumped up to hug him, Techno glaring at Wilbur who smiled a cheesy grin, and Phil laughed, a proper laugh.

Though things were difficult, and everyone was broken in their own way, Phil knew that eventually they’d come out on top.

For the rest of the week, they did everything you could possibly imagine, including lots of family cuddles, an occasional family cry, but most importantly they made the most of their time together, making sure to plan another meet up very soon.

Because everyone other than Tommy lived so close to each other, they feared it would make the boy feel as though he was more alone and isolated, so without Toms knowledge, Phil had messaged his parents and asked if Tommy could come visit every other weekend and during whatever holidays he wanted to, to which he agreed to pay for, and his parents agreed.

Tommy wouldn’t feel as alone, and maybe, just maybe, things would start to look up for him.

He wasn’t perfect, nobody was, and things wouldn’t change over night.

But as long as he had his family at his side, maybe things would be okay.


End file.
